The Relationship Between Surrogate and Therapist
Many do not understand the therapeutic triangle that exists between a client, a surrogate and a therapist in sexual therapy. There are quite a few misconceptions about what a surrogate is (not a prostitute) about counseling (a sex therapist cannot help you like a psychiatrist or psychologist can) and about what sex surrogacy is all about. (Not about fulfilling your wildest fantasies)
What is the relationship between surrogate, therapist and client? Who is in charge? Who decides the best way to treat a sexual dysfunction or disorder? The client, right? Wrong. It is true that the client is paying for the therapy and is expecting to be satisfied with the results. But until the problem is resolved, the client is putting his trust in others to help him through this process. (The term "he" is common since many clients are single males) The client will be expected to confide personal information and feelings, as well as agree to undergo physical or emotional treatments.
The sex surrogate is not in charge of the session either. The general definition of a surrogate is "someone who takes the place of another person." Therefore a qualified therapist will be the one assigning the treatment to best help a client recover from a sexual disorder. A sex surrogate is brought in by the therapist as someone to take his or her place in physical or intimate therapies. The term "therapist" could also include medical professionals like physicians, psychiatrists, psychologists, urologists and sexologists in addition to therapists. For the most part, a sex therapist will refer a client to a surrogate.
Sometimes sex surrogates are the ones to make initial contact with clients and create a therapeutic triangle of client, surrogate and therapist. While traditionally a therapist refers a client to a waiting surrogate, a proactive surrogate can accomplish the same result. What is important to note however is that a qualified therapist is involved in therapy. If there is not a qualified therapist available or if the surrogate is not certified, then a client's therapy could be mishandled by an amateur or even an unscrupulous individual.
The surrogate interacts with both the client and the therapist. Surrogates are able to give direct, objective feedback to the client and educate them on sexual matters by using more physical and emotional teaching methods. Surrogates also report back to the therapist, noting any changes, progress or regression that has taken place. This is also helpful in documenting any unconscious behavior or feelings that might arise, unknown to the client.
The surrogate has an important job that goes far beyond physical or sexual touching. A typical assignment requires a great deal of observational skills, understanding of psychology, communication and counseling skills, and a very personable demeanor. For this reason a sex surrogate should be highly educated and have an extensive knowledge about sexuality, with specific attention to dysfunctions and disorders.
As therapy comes to a close and a client starts to gradually overcome a sexual problem, they are encouraged by the therapist and surrogate to the start relationships in the outside world with a partner of their own choosing. Usually therapy ends when a mutual agreement is reached between the three-way team.
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